It is human nature to have goals, dreams, and expectations. Our ability to project into the future, to plan, imagine and create is a unique quality that separates us from other animals. That being said, it can also be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, in order to accomplish a goal we need to project how we will get from here to there. On the other hand, in spite of our best efforts, there is no guarantee we will ever get there. In fact, there are often numerous obstacles to overcome from the moment we conceive a goal. Contrary to some peoples’ belief, the universe is not conspiring in our behalf. We are but one moving part in a multitude of moving parts. There are many factors that help us, but there are many others that do not.
The odds of reaching a goal increase when many people work towards a common objective. Many of mankind’s great accomplishments have come with contributions from many people. The advances in technology and medicine, and the development of democracy and civil societies are prime examples. Unfortunately, many people have also worked together for destructive aims, which has led to horrific results. The human cost of war immediately comes to my mind. It is difficult to quantify how our individual efforts impact the grand scheme of things. Life unfolds as a result of all its variables.
The modern way of life can obscure our ability to see that we are part of a natural system, and subjected to the same laws. The way our life unfolds is not all that different from how a tree grows in a forest. The analogy is not perfect; however, I think it is helpful in making my point. The genetic information contained within a seed could be compared to a plan, as all the information necessary to construct a tree is present. From the beginning there are many factors outside of this plan that will affect its eventual growth. Will the seed fall on fertile soil? Will the weather conditions be favorable? What will its immediate environment be like? And if the seed sprouts, will it be destroyed by animals, insects, or diseases?
Even if the tree takes root, and grows to a substantial height, it is still susceptible to the conditions of its environment. There are many events surrounding the tree that are random. Nevertheless, all living things in the forests have a plan of their own (their genetic information), and a drive towards their fulfillment. The state of the forests is determined by the interactions of every life form, as well as the inanimate substances in its environment. There is no plan for the forest as a whole, but the blending of countless plans, which creates a whole.
What the tree needs to grow and prosper is always present in the forest: energy from the sun, nourishment from soil and water, necessary processes from microbes, and protection provided by nearby trees. The environment of the forests will determine which seed (or tree) will grow, and which will not. The same can be said for every living thing in the forest.
Long before we begin to make plans for our lives, many things are already in place. It is our genes that first determine the potential for our lives. Even before birth the traits that we have acquired are set. Beyond these genetic traits the events in our lives are mostly random. For example: we don’t choose who we are, where we are born, and the time period. We also don’t choose our parents, family, and our community. The people we come in contact with and world events also have an impact. Our lives are formed by the environment that we are exposed to. Prosperity, poverty, peace, or warfare, whatever the case may be, is mainly beyond our control. Nothing in nature is in complete control and neither are we. Even our own body is primarily beyond our control, as it is maintained by subconscious processes. We are mostly unaware of the internal functions of our body, and we pay little attention to them until something goes wrong. And just as vital to our existence is the outside world. The air we breathe, the energy from the sun, and the food supply are but a few of many outside factors that are essential for life.
The comparison of the tree in the forest can make us aware that we are not all that different or separate from nature. But with humans, there is a difference in the sense that people have a degree of free will. Some would argue that what we perceive as free will is nothing more than an illusion, but let’s just say that we have, at best, a degree of free will. We have the ability to respond creatively to our environment. We can make choices, learn from the past, and make plans for the future. Our imagination has no bounds, therefore we can dream up any number of possibilities for our lives. That being said, there is a risk that what we imagine or dream of may not always be realistic. I can certainly relate to that way of thinking. When I was younger, I had a tendency to believe that events in my life would unfold as I had planned. As I age, I now realize that life is much bigger than I, and the world is not concerned with my plans. I found that when my primary focus was on my expectations, I would often end up disappointed. Things rarely work out as I had envisioned. What I was doing was focusing on life’s results rather than life’s process.
I now view goals and dreams as potential destinations. They are necessary in the sense that they give us direction. It is obvious that random and directionless processes do not lead to anything constructive. Therefore, we do need to make plans despite the uncertainty of going forward. What we are really choosing are paths, but we cannot know where they will eventually lead. No matter how much we plan, there are always numerous factors outside of our control that will influence our plan. Think of it this way: with all the plans of other people and their actions, as well as natural events, what are the odds that the outside world will fit the plan we have devised in our minds? And if, at a given time everything did come together just right, how long would we be able to sustain it?
The plans that we make for our lives are presumably forms of order that we envision. The more in depth the extent of the planning is, the more variables will come into play. It’s quite simple, the more factors involved, the more difficult it becomes to predict or direct the outcome. In order to move ahead with confidence, it is important to have an open perspective on goals. Life’s unpredictability and uncertainty is the cause for much anxiety and worry, however, it is intensified by our expectations. For me, my expectations have probably caused more anxiety than any other reason I can think of. Although it is difficult to pull off, I find that when I live with no expectations, I am more at peace and more productive in general.
Let me clarify that last statement. I did not say low expectations; I said no expectations. The pitfall with expectations is twofold. One is that you might aim too high, the other, aim too low. This means that instead of focusing on one particular outcome, which can be very limiting, I try to be open to a number of future outcomes. When I am moving in a path that I am pleased with, and actively engaged in life, my life seems to flow freely. I am open to receive the blessings that may come my way, as they usually come unplanned or unexpected. I am also able to place my full attention to the present task at hand, unencumbered by future expectations. Or perhaps the biggest gain is in letting go of the fear of not meeting those expectations; not only my expectations, but also the expectations of others as I perceive them.
Seeing the forest for the trees is recognizing that our life is a minor contribution to an immensely larger system. We are like individual trees in a large forest. Although the forest needs trees, no one tree is absolutely necessary. The forest does not differentiate or favor one tree from another. The sun shines on all; the clouds rain on all. We are not directors of our lives, and the only real control we have is in our ability to respond to events as they arise. Regrettably we can’t make life into what we want it to be. It is a harsh reality that one unfortunate incident can drastically change our lives, or even end it, no matter what we have going for us. There is no certainty beyond the present moment, and the only thing we can expect from life is the unexpected.
The best we can do is to accept life on its own terms, and try to respond appropriately. We can achieve this by being actively engaged in life’s present realities, and moving in a desirable direction. This should at least allow us to move forward, regardless of the uncertainty that lies ahead. We may or may not get to where we want to go. We use different words to define that place: goals, dreams, success, happiness, peace and fulfillment. However, in time we may realize that these final destinations do not matter absolutely. We may also realize that the fullness of life can only be found in the journey and not in the final destinations.